Crappy Restaurants

A lot of restaurants suck.

We know this. Yet we still find it worth it to try new places despite the fact that there's a good chance it will be disappointing. Since I've moved to Philly, this has happened far too many times - to the point where I am slowly beginning to understand why people go to chain restaurants.

So I thought I'd do a recap...at least on the ones I can remember.

Square on Square - last week Gary and I went downtown to try out Continental - a Starr restaurant. Global tapas. Good recommendation. Unfortunately, as we walked in at 3:30 in the afternoon, completely starved and just having spent twenty minutes trying to find a parking spot, the hostess cheerily told us that the kitchen had just closed and wouldn't reopen until 5pm for dinner.

We wandered into Square on Square, a block away, after a quick glance at their menu and having heard a good word about it before. The won ton soup was fine, the same generic won ton soup you can find at any Chinese restaurant or take out place. I had the seafood deluxe special: crab, shrimp, scallops with noodles and veggies in a white wine sauce. The crabmeat was imitation and had no flavor, the scallops were rubbery and they forgot to remove the foot on one of them. The sauce was bland. Gary had their version of General Tso's chicken and asked for it mild. "Mild" was still intensely spicy to the point where that was the only flavor you could taste. When we mentioned it to the waiter, he told us they had only used half the amount of chile pepper they usually use. At the end of the meal we were given some so-so almond cookies. Service was decent, food was boring and not very good - I'd rather not back.

Marathon Grill University City. I walk by this place on a regular basis, and it always looks busy. Usually, this is a good sign. Alas, it's just another example of how stupid people are and how much a nice location can help a business. It looks like a semi-classy place, but once inside when you get a closer look you can see how it's really just faking. The chairs and tables are scratched and worn, it's decorated to look like an upscale restaurant with prices on the menu to match, but the food isn't that great and neither is the ambiance. I had their Thai chicken salad with mixed greens: "Thai sweet chile crispy chicken," sliced red cabbage, carrots, black sesame seeds, almond slivers, orange segments, red onion, citrus-soy vinaigrette, and won ton strips. The chicken was surprisingly bland, there was too much dressing, and I was worried (partly because I'm weird about these things, I'm sure) constantly that I was going to get a black sesame seed stuck in my teeth. Overall unimpressive. Gary's burger was equally unimpressive. The gummy mashed potatoes on the side didn't help. I don't plan to return any time soon.

Philly Diner - I don't even know what to say. Shitty food with service that's even worse. I'm certain the only business they have are drunk college kids in the middle of the night because they're the only 24-hour place located by campus in University City. I'd rather lick the bottom of my shoe than go back.

Oregon Diner - a step up from the Philly Diner, but still nothing great. Seriously, Philly, where are all the decent diners? The only thing worth mentioning is that I tried bison for the first time here...and their pastries look like they're worth a try.

Saigon Maxim Restaurant - my biggest complaint here wasn't actually their food. The whole experience was a bit odd because they apparently were setting up for a wedding, yet seated us anyway as the only people in the restaurant. We sat at a little table surrounded by white fluffy stuff on the windows and numbers above each table, while several employees dressed in their black and whites set up tables in a larger room and yelled at each other in various languages. The pho was good though they didn't bring out a little plate of herbs, mung bean sprouts, and lime for me to add to my liking - the herbs and mung bean sprouts were already added and there was no fresh lime in sight. The general Tso's (they had a Chinese and a Vietnamese menu) wasn't bad either - nice and crispy instead of that doughy mush you get a lot of times. The waitress kind of stood around a few feet away waiting for us to finish eating which was a little awkward, and when we got the check we stood up to go because she had disappeared, and when we got to the bar to pay (since we didn't know where else to go), she reappeared toting a sliced orange for us to eat and we had to go and sit back down to have it. Overall I think the experience was just a little too strange to want to go back unless I'm in the neighborhood and don't have the heart to try a new place.

Next post: some of the good places I've been to!

Distrito

Yesterday I finally got to Distrito for a meal - lunch, to be exact. Chef Jose Garces is the owner, and when I worked there several months ago the buzz was about him recently being on Iron Chef America up against Bobby Flay in battle melon. The result? He won! Celebrity chef or not, Bobby Flay's food is really quite good, from what I remember when I went to Mesa Grill about two years ago. My friend and I went for brunch, and I was hooked...just by the bread before the meal. There were delicious mini muffins with golden raisins, half yellow corn half blue corn muffins, spicy cornbread. I had the bluecorn waffle with blackberry bourbon syrup and vanilla creme fraiche, and it was mighty tasty. My friend had the 16-spice chicken with some kind of tamale. Both of us were quite satisfied with the food and the price that went with it. But I digress. The fact that Garces had beaten Flay was impressive knowing what good food Flay had.

The first thing anyone notices of this "modern Mexican" restaurant is, of course, the decor. It's insanely bright with pink walls and chairs and tables in various shades of pink and green. Some find the adornment obnoxious, others love it. I found it to be a little unsettling at first, but got used to it. Obviously they're going for the overly-ornamented look, but the shared sinks by the bathrooms upstairs are a little awkward. It's a very trendy place, the hostess had kind of giraffe-like skinniness and looked as though she should be a supermodel, and most of the people there appeared to be on business lunches. The constant theme of Mexican wrestlers is a goofy one that I find hilarious - they even have a giant TV screen upstairs that plays scenes from Nacho Libre(they may have changed that by now to something else). Friday and Saturday nights (I think) they have a flamenco guitarist/singer with a beautiful voice that serenades customers.

Distrito has a lunch special - two courses for $15. This is a pretty good deal, especially considering the quality you're getting (though I've read many other reviews that complain of how expensive it is - it looks as though a la carte adds up quick, and people forget that this is a tapas place). It's a little limiting though, considering how much more is on the dinner menu, including the Kobe beef tacos I'd been told to try that are apparently amazing. There's an incredible range of food even on the lunch menu, from ceviche and soups and salads for first course, with second course items containing duck, chicken, pulled pork, short rib, yellowtail, and even cactus.

For first course, I had the chilango chop: a salad of baby arugula, watercress, cherry tomatoes, green olives (ew), orange segments, and pecans, with shaved coconut on top and a tomato-lime vinaigrette (you can choose that or the chipotle buttermilk dressing). I added the Kobe beef, which will get you about 5 hunks for $7. Except for the olives, it was simple but good. I loved the pecans, and the Kobe beef was rich and served medium-rare. My friend had the camarones ceviche - shrimp served with avocado, a spicy tomato sauce, and plantain chips. He was entirely unimpressed and when I tasted it, I knew why - the flavors instantly made me think of Indian food, and he is not at all a fan of that. Oh well. I liked it, though I've never been impressed by plantain chips. Both were very different in portion size: the salad was a decent spread, while the ceviche was basically 4 shrimp in a sauce and a few little plantain chips.

Second course brought my hamachi tacos - fried yellowtail that resembled a fishstick, chipotle remoulade, red cabbage, avocado, and a lime for squeezing over top. This I really liked - there was good texture contrast with the soft tortilla, crunchy cabbage, creamy sauce, and flaky fish. The sauce had a good balance of spice; it didn't overwhelm the other flavors. It was my favorite. My friend ordered the queso fundido - with duck and poblano and tortillas. Though not healthy or low calorie by any means, it was lovely. It was greasy of course...duck and cheese will do that...but not as much as it could have been. However, it's hard to get the flavor of duck out when it's covered with 3 types of cheese, and it most definitely isn't going to be rare. It could easily be mistaken for pork if unaware.

For dessert we split the coconut flan, as they were out of the tres leches. Having worked the pastry station, I knew how good it would be and it was nice to be able to sit and enjoy it instead of putting it together as fast as possible. Garnished with a quenelle of whipped cream (which had melted on ours by the time it got to us), toasted coconut, and a coconut tuille, it was a good ending to a good meal.

I love the range of dishes available, and the variety of ingredients used. All in all, the food was good - but there was nothing I had that I'll be craving in a couple weeks enough to make me want to go running back. I may go back anyway in a couple of months when I can legally drink to try a margarita - they boast having around 80 types of tequila. And maybe along with that I'll try a couple of the dishes that I've heard the most about, and it will make me want to go back time and time again.

The Interview: Part One

This past Sunday I went to an open interview at a restaurant that's opening mid-March. It's called The Blockley Pourhouse, and I found them in an ad on craigslist, stating that they're hiring all positions front and back of the house.

I really didn't think much of it - I've had an extremely hard time finding a decent job, and passed it off as another I probably won't get. But I went to the open interview anyway, and before I knew it, my nerves were setting in. This has been a problem for me in the past. Before I started work at my first real restaurant, I could barely eat for about three days. I did what I could to calm myself - took the car where I can feel confident in my own little bubble, where I can listen to whatever music I like, however loud I like. I thought of all the experience I have - a 3.9 GPA in culinary school that I'm attending, management at a pizza place, sous chef at a fine dining French restaurant where I butchered tenderloin, stripsteak, and removed silverskin from lamb. I learned to fillet Dover sole, though I never got to be great at it, and probably couldn't do it if you asked me to right now. I covered all the appetizers, like crab imperial, stuffed shrimp, smoked salmon with toast, and escargot. I learned a little bit about sauces, though not much relatively speaking. It was the first time I tasted mornay, beurre blanc, and tournedo. The front of the house was one of the most terribly adorned places I had ever seen: the seventy-year old woman owner's doll collection was scattered about, and her presence was further enhanced by massive amounts of doilies. We served our specialty items on gaudy purple and gold plates, like the lamb.

But despite all of this, I think of my weaknesses as I drive to the intersection of 38th and Chestnut. By the time I walk into the building bearing the outdated sign of "Koko Bongo," the business that failed, I'm shaking. The entire building is completely gutted - the walls are all different colors from pink to blue to white, there are giant eight-foot sheets of plywood laying about, while loose nails appear on the floor every here and there. Straight ahead is what looks to be the set up of a stage, and the first thing I reach upon walking in is the giant bar: it looks to be thirty feet long. Standing at the end nearest the door are two girls that look to be around my age, and when I walk closer, I see they're filling out applications taken from a stack laying on the bar. Down at the other end of the bar, sitting at a small fold-out table are three men. In front of the table is a single chair, where another girl about my age is being interviewed. I figure because I have my resume, the application would be obsolete, but as they dismissed the girl from the interview one of the men walked toward me and told me to go ahead and fill one out anyway. His light brown hair is short on top, and he holds a beard that gives him a vague Amish look (pointed out by one of the others during my interview). I hate filling out applications. The next two girls go one by one to the table at the end of the bar, chasing front of the house jobs. The men are blatantly flirting with both of them. I overhear snatches of the conversations, and they both sound a bit ditzy - someone you could easily imagine saying, "I love The Hills!" or "I can't believe I have to miss the Lady Gaga concert." But they could be good candidates to serve food and booze to people that come in and get shitty.

After standing around for what feels like hours, it's my turn. The man on the left is tall with dark brown hair. The one in the middle looks like he could be a linebacker - but has a very gentle smile. And the bearded man on the right turns out to be the one in charge of the music and booking for the place. They are all young, and seem full of excited ambition. Despite my nervousness, I do a good job at swallowing it and throwing big smiles, acting confident and extremely interested in everything they have to say. They ask me if I would rather serve or cook, and I say for now maybe serving. I didn't tell them that this is because the money is better, and I don't want to get stuck making crappy bar food like potato skins and wings. But by the end of the interview, when I was informed that Chef Ross Esner, former chef of Django (the food of which is the second picture shown), would be the head chef here and there was an actual casual dining restaurant next to this large "fun room," they tell me in so many words that I would be working in the back of the house if anything. I'm fine with this - no - I'm great. In fact, I'd felt a little guilty saying I'd rather serve. A funny thing was that they actually spoke a good bit more than I did - it seemed like I could hardly get a word in. They were young and ambitious indeed. I left feeling like I'd at least gotten a little word in about myself.

The very next day Chef Ross calls me and leaves a message saying he would love for me to come by and set something up. As soon as I get a hold of him, he tells me that Thursday he's holding interviews and to come by then.

To be continued...